December 4, 2009 Leave a comment
Today I had an hour long phone conversation (Yes, that’s a big deal for me. I got a message from AT&T the other day saying that I have 3,999 rollover minutes.) with Winger about… everything. It started out with me telling him stories about what happened during and after lunch today, since I don’t see him after break on A Days. I swear, he turns invisible or something. No one knows where he goes between classes. Anyways, my stories.
This is Our Future????
Today there was a French club meeting. It consisted of me, Best Friend, and two other juniors. All the others were freshmen (2 year olds) or Madame. We have a freshman at our school who turned 12 this September. No joke. She’s the one they toss around in cheerleading.
Anyways, we did a terrible job selling cheese dip and People en Espagnol so we need to organize another fundraiser. The brilliant baby business people came up with the best ideas ever. One of them included a yard sale.
Yes, earning two quarters and a piece of lint will really help the club out. Thank you, small geniuses.
It was so ridiculous that we left early. Also, me and Best Friend wanted to make sure we had time to pee before lunch was over.
Observation: Strange People Frequent the Bathroom
In the bathroom, we got to listen to an amazing conversation.
Girl: Yeah, ever since Thanksgiving I can’t smoke anymore. When I try to smoke I just start coughing. It’s so weird. Normally I don’t cough when I smoke out of a pipe but now I can’t stop coughing and I feel nauseous.
What were you doing in that bathroom? That’s the good, clean bathroom that always has soap and toilet paper. Of course, one time I also went there and found a collection of cherry tomatoes in the pad & tampon trashcan in one of the stalls. Just when I start to think that maybe my school is a little normal…
At the end of the day when I was walking to my locker there were random hooligans running around and being freaks. Some girl screamed at another girl “Greasy tits!”
I am so ready to leave for college.
Beavers, Backdoors, and Ponies
Now, for more on the actual Winger-Moi conversation. Winger and I are creepy perverts together. We scare people on a regular basis. Only today, he really won the creeper prize.
Somehow during study hall we started talking about beds. And that got to Winger telling us (the rest of the group minus him being female) that he slept in the nude once. Which caused a lot of twitching and faces frozen with looks of horror upon them. He also had to mention feeling the breeze.
During our epic phone conversation, we somehow started talking about beavers. I wanted to know if they made noises. While reading about beavers on Wikipedia, I discovered this:
“Both beaver testicles and castoreum, a bitter-tasting secretion with a slightly fetid odor contained in the castor sacs of male or female beaver, have been articles of trade for use in traditional medicine.”
“Claudius Aelianus comically described beavers chewing off their testicles to preserve themselves from hunters, which is not possible because the male beaver’s testicles are inside its body.”
We also started talking about horses when I mentioned finding my pony on a stick. You know:
I was wondering what all the different names for different ages and genders of horses were, so I looked that up too. After reading the definition of a gelding (castrated male horse), Winger called himself one.
He also read me the lyrics to “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.” and tried to convince me to give my dog Rogain.
This is the company I keep.